


Hold Me Responsible

by keep_waking_up



Category: Supernatural
Genre: BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Crossdressing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Photography, Humiliation, M/M, Panties, Unnegotiated Kink, Use of Safe Word, gagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:36:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keep_waking_up/pseuds/keep_waking_up
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't abusive or anything.  It was just a game of one-up between them, just like the prank wars of their youth.  So what if ropes and sex were involved?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me Responsible

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt from SPN-OTPkink: Sam and Dean get into all kinds of kinks- rough and BDSM included. They have a safe word, but neither want to use it for fear the other will tease the shit out of them for not being able to take it. And to 'one up' their brother. Things get rougher, more intense, more whatever until during a 'session' Dean crosses a line. (not meaning to, he's not trying to injure or emotionally gut Sam) Sam is forced- either through pain, emotional distress, whatever- to use the safe word. Cue hurt, crying Sam with Dean realizing how far he went and doing whatever it takes to make it better.

“Mmph!”

Sam laughed breathlessly as those narrowed green eyes glared up at him. He could imagine what Dean would say if he wasn’t gagged. He’d be cursing and crying out and demanding that Sam ‘finish it already!’, but this way, Sam could take all the time he wanted. And Dean couldn’t stop him without losing the little game they’d been playing.

Sam knew that what they were doing was supposed to be handled a little differently. They’d gone through all the motions—they had a safe word and everything—but it had become something of a challenge, instead of a reassurance of safety. Safe wording was chickening out, the way Dean acted. And sure, Sam knew Dean hated being gagged and bound to the bed, legs spread obscenely wide by a spreader-bar and kept from coming by the leather strap around his cock. But he would rather put up with that than drop the red napkin in his hand and admit that Sam had ‘won’. 

He fucked into his brother a few more times before bringing the vibrator up and holding it against the head of Dean’s cock. Those narrowed green eyes slammed shut at that, and Dean’s whole body arched and twisted, simultaneously trying to escape and move closer to the stimulation. Sam just grinned and kept fucking him, loving the way Dean’s ass clenched spasmodically around him. He loved bringing Dean to this place of utter pleasure, seeing him fall apart with how much he wanted to come, even if he didn’t like the position he was in. It made up for those times when Dean put him in panties and spanked him raw. 

Dean was screaming behind his gag, and his body was covered in sweat. For a second, Sam thought about making him go a bit longer, but he wanted to come as well. Leaning over his brother, he reached down and snapped the leather band off of his brother’s cock. 

His brother’s body arched up into a perfect U as he came. Sam’s own climax was a bit of an afterthought.

Dean was too out-of-it to help with the clean-up, so Sam untied him and re-situated him on the bed so he could be comfortable while he recovered. They didn’t exactly buy into the whole cuddling aftercare thing, but neither of them ever left each other alone afterwards either. Instead, Sam laid down on the bed next to Dean, and rubbed his head absentmindedly while his brother got himself back together.

It only took a few minutes for Dean to feel okay enough to bat his hand away. “I’m fine,” he grumbled, “Although that was fucking awful. I swear, I’m gonna get you back so bad…”

Sam grinned and leaned over to nibble teasingly on his brother’s ear. “Sure you are.” When Dean scowled and shoved at him, he laughed a little before sitting up. “I’m gonna go make dinner. Want anything in particular?”

Dean muttered something about Sam’s balls on a plate, which Sam took to mean he was feeling well enough that he would appreciate a good burger.

 

*

 

It wasn’t abusive or anything. Sure, being gagged might not be Dean’s favorite thing, but he wouldn’t have come back for more if the sex wasn’t good. It was the same for Sam. The panties and the spanking he could’ve done without, but at the end of the day, it was worth it for the way his brother fucked him, to see the way Dean’s eyes lit up when they saw him in a lacy black thong.

Dean would never have admitted it, but it was about making compromises. It allowed them to try out kinks that they might not have otherwise, and sure, they weren’t necessarily always things they both loved, but it was worth it.

Which was why Sam went happily when Dean gave him That Look a few days later.

At first, he thought it was gonna be a pretty mellow day for Dean. Sure, the school-girl skirt was a bit new. And he wasn’t surprised to see Dean had taken out the same bindings (including the cock strap) Sam had used on him the other day, because Dean got some perverse joy from giving Sam ‘a taste of his own medicine’. But it wasn’t anything they hadn’t done before, so he pulled on the new set of red panties and the skirt, and allowed Dean to tie him down to the bed without any fuss.

In fact, everything in the beginning was pretty standard too. Dean got him warmed up with a vibrating dildo (a pink one that he liked using because he could tease Sam about being a girl at the same time). Sam wasn’t even surprised when he pushed the dildo all the way in, and then left Sam alone for a few minutes. It had been done before, and Dean wouldn’t go far enough away that Sam couldn’t get his attention with a loud yell. So Sam hummed a little and, well, he didn’t enjoy being kept from coming by the cock strap, but he didn’t hate it either.

By the time Dean came back, he was panting a little bit. His arousal was getting more and more out of control, and soon enough he’d be begging and pleading just like Dean liked. Normally, this was where Dean would pull out a paddle or a flogger or something and go to town on Sam’s ass. It seemed perfectly normal when Dean flipped his skirt over his back, displaying his ass, the panties, and the dildo for anyone in the room to see. Sam waited with bated breath for the first hit.

Instead, he heard a loud click, and the sound of something spitting paper out. And then another. And another. Confused, he tried to twist around from where he was tied on all fours, chest dragging against the bed. But Dean must’ve been right behind him, because no matter how much he pulled, he couldn’t see him. Another click sounded, and Sam remembered he could speak. “Dean, what—?”

“Shut up, slut.”

Sam’s mouth snapped shut.

Dean laughed a little bit, and Sam could tell whatever he was doing was turning him on. “That’s right. Good whores keep their mouths shut unless there’s a cock in them.” There was another click and then Dean tossed something down on the pillow by Sam’s head. Sam looked down at it and—He shook his head a few times, but it was still there. A picture of him, his ass, and it was fucking obscene. He looked like a slut, ass canted backwards with the skirt and the red panties and the bright pink dildo sticking out of his hole. He looked shameless. 

Something rose within him; two things actually. He couldn’t tell what they were, because they just kept growing stronger as Dean kept talking.

“Such a pretty fucking slut, all dressed up and ready for me. But it’s not just for me, is it? Anyone could walk in here and see how desperate you are for it, how much you need it. They could take you all in a row, one by one—hey, maybe two of them could even take you at once and you’d beg for it. And they wouldn’t even bother to make you come, because they know what whores are for. Whores get fucked and they don’t get to come. They’re just a hole for them. And you’re just a hole for me, Sammy. My pretty little hole, all ready to bend over me whenever I want. Only thing you’re good for, a nice long fuck. Just a slutty little whore for me—”

“Siste.”

If he’d thought he’d been panting before, it was nothing like now. He couldn’t get enough breath in his lungs; it felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. Dimly, he realized his cheeks were wet with tears. He couldn’t quite see straight. The picture in front of him was all blurry and distorted. He felt wrong inside, like Dean had reached in and twisted everything around. He needed to get out and he needed out now.

There was absolute stillness for a minute, and then Dean was rushing to his side. “Shit! Sam? Are you okay?” His hands ghosted over Sam’s body. “Is something hurting? What’s wrong?”

He wasn’t really up to speaking. All he knew was that he didn’t want Dean’s hands on him; he wanted to get out, go back to his room, and crawl under his covers until he felt safe again. He shook his head a couple of times and let out a sob of relief as Dean began undoing all of the ties. 

The leather cuffs on his wrists were the last things to go, other than the strap around his cock. He was still hard, not because he wanted to be, but because the strap had kept him that way. Still, he couldn’t seem to coordinate his hands enough to remove it. Instead, he simply slumped into Dean’s bed, burying his head in the pillows. He didn’t want to ever come out.

“Sam?” Dean’s voice was low, frightened, the way it was whenever he’d been hurt badly. “Are you okay?” There was a pause and then he continued, words coming quickly. “You gotta give me something, man. You’re freaking me out.”

Sam didn’t know what to say.

A gentle hand came down between his shoulder blades. Hesitantly, it began to rub at the skin there. “You know I didn’t mean it, right?” Dean’s voice was low and hesitant. “It was just… stuff. Dirty talk. I didn’t—I don’t think you’re a whore or a slut or anything. You know that, right?” When Sam didn’t respond, Dean pushed a little closer, voice cracking a little bit. “I just wanted to… just wanted to try it. Some people like it. But if you don’t, then I swear I’ll never do it again. I swear. But you have to know that you’re the most important person in the world to me. And I’m so fucking angry with myself because… if anyone else said that kind of shit to you, I would fucking kill them. I would. ‘Cause you’re amazing and incredible and so perfect for me, and I swear to god, Sam, I love you so fucking much.”

Something broke open in Sam’s chest and then he was clutching at Dean, pulling him closer and crying into his chest. Dean’s hands settled firmly around his back, holding him closely, while Dean crooned, “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay, Sammy.”

It was maybe twenty minutes before Sam felt like himself again. His head was pressed up against Dean’s chest and he kissed it before speaking. “I’m really sorry. About that.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” Dean said fiercely, and Sam could already hear the self-blame setting in.

“Dean—”

“No,” Dean cut him off. “I’m in the wrong on this one. From the start, you wanted to do this responsibly. I’m the one who treated the whole thing like some challenge, some game. I acted like I had something to win if you were the first one to safe word out. And that? That wasn’t winning, Sam.” He shook his head. “No, from now on we’re gonna do this the right way. And we’re gonna… we’re gonna talk about these things before we do ‘em.” He paused, and his voice cracked as he spoke. “I don’t wanna ever have to see you like that again. Knowing I’d done that to you…”

Sam lifted his head up and brushed his lips against Dean’s, reassuring. “You didn’t know.”

Dean looked stubbornly at him. “I should’ve.”

There was no way to argue sense into his brother’s mind, Sam knew that much. He just shook his head and curled closer. “There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you, you know,” he whispered into Dean’s skin. The only indication he had that Dean had heard was a tightening of his brother’s arms.

Sam was almost asleep when he heard Dean murmur, “Ditto.”


End file.
